Writer:
A woman writes to say she still loses her temper even after medication.
She would like to laugh instead of getting upset and learn other ways to handle
frustrations such as being logged off her computer just as she was about to win a game.
Sari's response:
Here are some suggestions:
1. Share these kinds of stories with other people with ADD and have a joint laugh,
in order to gain perspective, which is easy to lose with ADD. Listen to other people's stories.
This could be in online groups, or my discussion forum - www.sarisolden.com.
You might write an article, read what others have written, go to support groups or conferences
such as CHADD (www.chadd.org) or
ADDA (www.add.org).
2. Protect yourself as much as possible from what you know causes these sudden losses
of perspective. Minimize the potential frustrations by using for example sound blocks
or notes on your door telling people not to enter during a certain time period. Operate
your brain like a fragile rare instrument that needs proper care and delicate handling.
3. Make sure your medications are working optimally and you are on the right ones.
4. Watch your self talk, such as "that's the ADD again" instead of for example
"what a loser I am". This way you won't add to the frustration barrage of self blame.
5. Program yourself to laugh every time you find your dog looking as you say he does after
one of your outbursts
6. Make sure you have enough to do in your life that is meaningful and important to you
to counteract these difficulties.
Writer:
Question was whether any women feel better before learning they have ADD.
This woman is going on 40 and has been diagnosed for four years and feels
worse about it now.
Sari's response:
If you have not been diagnosed until adulthood and then get a diagnosis
without the kind of treatment that can help you sort out and come to terms
with this kind of experience then it makes sense that you would feel worse.
That is why I have written my new book, Journeys Through ADDulthood.
This unfortunately is a common experience although most people don't talk about it.
Even though many feel relief and hope at first, months and years later many are not feeling
better. Medication is critical and I don't know if you've found anything helpful.
Beyond that you need to find a therapist or coach that can help you sort through your
self image feelings about your differences, your choices, relationships, etc. These are
complex issues that you need to confront in order to make this transition. Investigate
help in your area, such as support groups and conferences.